'I don't have the foggiest idea' what to do next, Trapp writes in a farewell essay. 'But that is the way I started every organizing drive. Not having any answers, but jumping into the issue and seeing where it led. So it is time to jump into retirement and see where it leads.'

When you read this I will be retired. No shouts of joy and dancing behind closed doors. Do it out in the open, you cowards.

One or two of you may say, "My God, what are we going to do without you?" That is bull droppings! One of the things that I have always been good at is surrounding myself with people who are smarter and better organizers than I am. Found early on that way others don't notice your limitations. The goal of every organizer is to create and provide opportunities for others to become better than you. So things will go just fine, in fact probably better.

There may be someone who will say, "Owe you so much, will never be able to repay you." The truth is that you don't owe me a damn thing! The fact of life is that you can never repay those who have given to you, you can only pass it on to others. If you got something good, pass it on. If you got something bad, bury it.

Some may say, "Congratulations, you certainly earned it." The bull droppings are getting pretty thick around here. Don't really feel that in life, you earn anything, because we are given so much by so many. So many people have given to me that it is unbelievable. A few whose names stand out, many who are just a vague memory, so many others that gave an idea, a suggestion, a criticism that helped move things off dead center, but sadly are forgotten. So life is not about earning, it is about receiving and passing on what has been received.

A health nut or two might ask, "Are you sick?" Well the joints creak a little more than they did, but I still eat meat, drink, and smoke. The mind although more forgetful and slower is just as healthy or sick as when I decided to go into organizing 34 years ago and stay in it for 34 years. That type of sickness is a nice kind, one that everyone should be so lucky to have.

Some may ask "Why now?" The truth is that time waits for no one, and marches on despite our desires. Yesterday's fires are today's ashes. Not wishing to live in ashes will move on with time and leave the creating to today's fires and tomorrow's fires to others.

Some may be foolish enough to say, "You still have so much to give." Well that is a nice compliment, but one does not have to be a rocket scientist to notice that the caliber and quickness of what is given is quickly diminishing. An athlete knows when they have lost a half a step. Some try to go on and usually become pathetic. The wise stop before the half a step becomes two lost steps. So it is time to stop.

Organizing to me is a very sacred career, because as organizers we are messing with people's lives. Telling them that if they come to this meeting that their community will be a better place. Building an arena in which they develop not only as leaders, but as human beings.

Recall one leader who as she developed as a leader also developed as a human being. She had lived in an abusive situation for many years. She stated: "My involvement in the organization showed me that I am a better person than I thought I was, I don't have to take this abuse, so I'm leaving him for good."

That kind of development is exciting to see, yet carries with it a great responsibility. A responsibility that should not be taken on when you have lost a half a step. So that is the reason for retiring.

Showing deep concern some may ask, "Well, whatever will you do?" The answer is quite simple. "I don't have the foggiest idea." But that is the way I started every organizing drive. Not having any answers, but jumping into the issue and seeing where it led. So it is time to jump into retirement and see where it leads.

Would be way out of line, if in this article did not mention my wife of 41 years, Anne, who is the main reason that have lasted 34 years in organizing.

It has been a hell of a run, one I'm glad I made. Thanks for all your help along the way.

Trapp plans to continue training, working with the disabled-rights group ADAPT and some other organizing activities. He remains reachable through NTIC.

In September 2001, Trapp was named a member of the NTIC board.